Response to Jason DeRulo

Dear ISTM, Is it weird that I hear violins whenever you’re gone? Is it weird that your ass remind me of a Kanye West song? Is it weird that I hear trumpets when  you’re turning me on?  Is it weird that your bra remind  me of a Katy Perry song? Every time that you get undressed I hear  symphonies in my head. I’m starting to get quite concerned now, and it’s affecting my work. Please help. J DeRulo, Miami Dear Mr DeRulo, You are understandably worried. Hearing brass instruments in your head when there is no discernible audial stimuli present must indeed be alarming, and you have done the right thing in seeking help. The presence of music in your head in the absence of actual sound could indicate Auditory Hallucinations. Auditory hallucinations have been known to manifest as a result of intense stress, sleep deprivation and drug use. Could it be possible that you’ve been burning the candle at both ends? If so, perhaps you’ve been drinking too much coffee? High caffeine consumption has been linked to an increase in the likelihood of experiencing auditory hallucinations. A recent study revealed that as few as five cups of coffee a day could trigger the phenomenon. Alternatively, you could be suffering from Tinnitus. The best course of action would be to visit your GP. They will be able to rule out these possible causes, as well as referring you for tests if necessary to rule out mental disorders such as Schizophrenia or Psychosis. They may also recommend a CAT scan. Your reference to certain body parts and items of women’s underwear triggering episodes may be a cause for concern, as they would indicate to me that your condition is psychological, rather than physiological. That said, it really is the best idea to rule out any possible physical ailments first. In the mean time, try not to worry, get enough sleep and avoid exposure to low level sound frequencies. I hope this helps, and that you feel better soon. ISTM

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