In case you hadn’t heard, a petition has been issued to The White House, baring over 100,000 signatures, requesting the deportation and of a “dangerous, reckless, destructive, and drug abusing” individual.
This dangerous, terrifying person is none other than 19 year old Justin Bieber, who shot to fame through the Disney Club and it would seem quite a few folks belieb this teenage pop sensation poses a massive threat to the nation’s safety and the safety and wellbeing of their children.
I’m sure Mr Bieber has offended a few over sensitive souls with his reckless antics (read: being a normal teenager with a shit load of money). He could certainly be tried and convicted for crimes against music. However, does acting like a total brat really warrant the torches and pitchforks? Before sticking a hood on Justin Bieber’s head and frog marching him to Guantanamo Bay, could I politely suggest the following individuals be rounded up and dealt with first:
1. ALEXIS FLORES
Alexis Flores is wanted for his alleged involvement in the kidnapping and murder of a five-year-old girl in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The girl was reported missing in late July of 2000, and later found strangled to death in a nearby apartment in early August of 2000.
2. FIDEL URBINA
Fidel Urbina is wanted for allegedly beating and raping a woman in March of 1998. While out on bond, he also allegedly beat, raped and strangled a second woman to death in October of 1998. Her body was later found in the trunk of a vehicle that had been burned. Both crimes occurred in Chicago, Illinois.
3. JASON DEREK BROWN
Jason Derek Brown is wanted for murder and armed robbery in Phoenix, Arizona. During November of 2004, Brown allegedly shot and killed an armored car guard outside a movie theater and then fled with the money.
4. ROBERT WILLIAM FISHER
Robert William Fisher is wanted for allegedly killing his wife and two young children and then blowing up the house in which they all lived in Scottsdale, Arizona in April of 2001.
5. EDUARDO RAVELO
Eduardo Ravelo was indicted in Texas in 2008 for his involvement in racketeering activities, conspiracy to launder monetary instruments, and conspiracy to possess heroin, cocaine and marijuana with the intent to distribute. His alleged criminal activities began in 2003. Ravelo is known to be a Captain (Capo) within the Barrio Azteca criminal enterprise and is allegedly responsible for issuing orders to the Barrio Azteca members residing in Juarez, Mexico. Allegedly, Ravelo and the Barrio Azteca members act as “hitmen” for the Vicente Carrillo Fuentes Drug Trafficking Organization and are responsible for numerous murders. Ravelo has ties to Mexico and El Paso, Texas. He may have had plastic surgery and altered his fingerprints.
6. VICTOR MANUEL GERENA
Victor Manuel Gerena is being sought in connection with the armed robbery of approximately $7 million from a security company in Connecticut in 1983. He allegedly took two security employees hostage at gunpoint and then handcuffed, bound and injected them with an unknown substance in order to further disable them.
7. JOSE MANUEL GARCIA GUEVARA
Jose Manuel Garcia Guevara allegedly murdered a 26-year-old woman in the presence of her four-year-old stepson in Lake Charles, Louisiana, in 2008. Guevara and the victim lived in the same mobile home park. Guevara allegedly broke into the victim’s home, raped her, and brutally stabbed her to death.
8. SEMION MOGILEVICH
Semion Mogilevich is wanted for his alleged participation in a multi-million dollar scheme to defraud thousands of investors in the stock of a public company incorporated in Canada, but headquartered in Newtown, Bucks County, Pennsylvania, between 1993 and 1998. The scheme to defraud collapsed in 1998, after thousands of investors lost in excess of 150 million U.S. dollars, and Mogilevich, thought to have allegedly funded and authorized the scheme, was indicted in April of 2003.
9. GLEN STEWART GODWIN
Glen Stewart Godwin is being sought for his 1987 escape from Folsom State Prison in California, where he was serving a lengthy sentence for murder. Later in 1987, Godwin was arrested for drug trafficking in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. After being convicted, he was sent to a prison in Guadalajara. In April of 1991, Godwin allegedly murdered a fellow inmate and then escaped five months later.
10. JUSTIN DREW BIEBER
Bieber was allegedly drag racing and police said he was going up to 30 mph over the speed limit. Bieber also admitted to having smoked marijuana before the incident. The singer is also under investigation on the claims of a Los Angeles neighbour that Beiber threw eggs at his house. In addition, Bieber has been known to sport a silly hair-do and has made a criminally bad feature length documentary about himself.
A hundred thousand plus people caring enough to sign a petition about something that will be passed to congress and may actually make a difference is a thing to be celebrated. Imagine the possibilities if those people took a stand about something that actually matters.