Idiotic Trends: Natural Selection?


Quick question: in what scenario would you agree to drink a bottle of white wine, vodka, a quarter of a bottle of whisky and a can of lager in one go? Don’t fancy it? How about a nice refreshing glass of cider, and raw egg with a dash of live chicken? Not your bag?

Year on year, since the start of the new millennium, those less cerebral individuals amongst us have started engaging in ludicrous behaviour because they saw it on Facebook or YouTube, and like all herd animals didn’t want to be left out in the cold.

This isn’t a new story, but one that has had me thinking. Is there a God? And if so, is this part of some sort of cleansing effort on his behalf? Or maybe this is natures way of ensuring not too much stupid muddies our gene pool.

Planking, NekNominations, The Cinnamon Challenge – just some of the ridiculous pastimes for those who have watched way too much Jackass and fancy themselves as a bit of a Steve-O.

The Daily Mail must have nearly jazzed in their pants when people started dying from these foolish trends, but rather than blame the individuals involved, of course, it was Facebook’s fault or YouTube’s fault or maybe that nasty boy Justin Bieber – surely it’s his fault.

Consider this: The game is only as dangerous as the participants are stupid.

What did you think was going to happen if you decided to pretend to be an owl perching thirty feet up in the air or if you, for no apparent reason, decided to lie on your front on a wobbly hotel balcony. Heaven forbid you might come a cropper if you decide one day to film yourself downing a shot of bleach because your Facebook friend Crispin told you to.

But that is also the thing that many of the media stories failed to mention when scandalising the NekNominate concept: No one tells you WHAT to drink. You just have to drink something. Those silly NN casualties decided all on their own that a lethal cocktail of creatin and lawn fertiliser was the way they would really impress people.

What they fail to realise is that people who would be impressed by something as moronic as a passing fad have the attention span of a lug nut and would have immediately forgotten, promptly moving on to some story about Paris Hilton doing a ten hour DJ set in Croydon. Or something.

The thing is, stupid people have been killing themselves doing stupid things for decades. There’s even a whole organisation dedicated to documenting these deaths called The Darwin Awards.

As you can tell from the name, they probably had the same thought as me, that somehow this was part of some great plan or design of nature. Natural selection to give it it’s proper name.

The Darwin Awards has been going for years now, and I bet there’s not even a mention of Planking or Owling or NekNominating, or as I like to call it ‘Being a Twat’. The stupid deaths featured on TDA must at least be original.

Sadly, the fact that this phenomenon has been documented for so long yet deaths are getting stupider, seems to indicate that the ‘generally-challenged’ are breeding at a much higher rate than those with an ounce of common sense.

I can’t wait to see what the next lethal trend will be. Anyone for ‘StabNominate’?


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