So this week rumours have been swirling around, hinting at the end of that bawdiest of British institutions: The Page 3 Stunner.
Getting their ‘puppies’ out for the lads since 1970, page 3 girls are as iconic to working class Britain as Carry On films, Brighton Rock, Bingo and Beach Huts. And just like these other iconic things, they added a bit of gaudy glamour to an otherwise grey day.
Page 3 has come under fire from feminists for years, who say the images degrade and objectify women as sex objects.
So far, there’s been no official statement from The Sun as to where the naked boobs have gone, however there have been rumours that the tabloid will be taking the bold decision to feature boobs with small triangles of fabric over them instead.
It would appear that Rupert Murdoch has spectacularly missed the point. Which is weird. After all, you’d think that a sensationalist tabloid such as The Sun would understand the concept of tit-illation.
Usually getting angry about this sort of thing would be right up my street, however I’m finding the whole story so ludicrous it’s actually quite funny.
The most ironic thing about all of this is that women are sex objects. So are men. People look at other people they would like to have sex with and imagine having sex with them. That’s what people do. Even you – don’t try and deny it.
And no one objectifies women more than other women. All you need to do is look within the pages of any fashion magazine and you’ll see plenty of T&A (tits and ass). And it’s not just women’s bodies either.
There’s plenty of naked male flesh to be seen between the pages of Cosmo or Marie Claire. But no one minds about that, because it’s aimed at women, and we don’t indulge in titillation, do we?
Nope, I think the most sexist fact that this argument has dredged up is that men aren’t up in arms over Cosmo’s ‘Abs of the Week’ or ‘Frenulum of the Day’ or whatever the hell it is this year.
When we finally get thousands of men, marching with placards telling us that they are more than just pretty sex machines to be admired, burning their tighty-whities, and refusing to trim their chest hair…
…THAT will be the day we have equality of the sexes.
Until then, ladies, just accept that all of us (male, female, somewhere in between) are dirty perverts who love staring at the naked flesh of attractive people. And, until we stop objectifying ourselves, we aren’t in the best place to judge others, now are we?